Many moons ago, my very first job was at a theme restaurant. I guess you could also say we were an entertainment emporium catering towards small children with an affinity for human sized rodents and their parents who had lackluster birthdays growing up. Because our target audience were the vertically challenged who could barely see over the counters, many of our signs were in very large font. Sometimes large font plus neon. Sometimes large font plus neon plus glowing effects. At least twice per cashier shift, I would have someone come up to me complaining about the beverage bar.

“THERE ARE NO STRAWS.”

“Oh no, they’re over there. Trust me.” (winky+smiley face)

Most would huff and puff at my answer, which by the way was not delivered sarcastically (sadly, at 16 I still had a blue belt in that discipline). 30% would give me a death stare while their children averted their eyes, but go back to the beverage bar and find the straws. The other 70% (the huffers/puffers) would demand I show them where the straws were. I’d smile my magic smile and walk around the counter. There were the straws accompanied by a sign in all its giant fonted neon glory (plus arrows), nestled comfortably between two drinking fountains. There was rarely a thank you or a whoops, just a grab and go. Of the straws that is.

Sometimes I fear for the future, and I’m not talking just about youth. People have cashed in their common sense tickets for a big stuffed animal of lazy.

Would people rather ask than look to see what’s right in front of them? Or has the simple stuff drained out due to the amount of information people are taking in (a la Kelly Bundy training with Al before a game show)? I can’t help but think the rise of sales for handhelds is not because they’re nifty devices, but because people want to be held. Smartphones won’t roll their eyes when you ask a question, they’ll simply interwine with your fingers delivering information whenever you touch a button. No need to store information in your brain when you’ve got 16GBs in your hand. I’m not anti-technology, but I’m not for spoon feeding either. Maybe I should turn off the brain and save it for bigger battles in the future.